road trippin

dear everything, i love driving at night.

heck, i love moving. being in motion, i feel like i'm doing something; as if progression is made and i'm evoking a change. i've been known to go for the long walk around adjacent neighborhoods or the whole of the college campus at unorthodox times or during what many would consider inclement weather. but a closet obsession of mine which works wonders for my unsettled soul has to be taking a long drive at night, little regarding posted traffic laws.

tonight was simply beautiful: black as my often malicious heart and the thoughts with which it accessorizes; air still, but carrying a cool, gentle moistness not unlike a lover's nose, grazing your cheek following a most sensually stimulating embrace speaking of passions too bold to express by tongue. for some reason i sought not to question, rather simply appreciate, the ground breathed a thick, steam-like smoke the while i traveled. talk about ambience! imagine a dreamscape - an endless night broken only by the immediate clouds upon which your vessel rode, blazing through the darkness - a darkness borne of internal demons and external evils.

this was my escape. overwhelmed with concern regarding the resolution of my consciousness (and the issues related in my post bearing a similar title) and my mother's apparent contented justification of worldly ills, i desperately needed release. i was completely incapable of working on my story, and all i wanted to draw was of destruction. i began pacing. i could not even sit still long enough to compose a social commentary on the destruction of valiance and humanity. grabbing my cd notebook, said my goodbye to my mother and bid my stressors adieu. armed with aggressive alternative pop-punk, i tore through my city on this beautiful night and raced my mind for control over my emotions.
outrunning my brooding disquietude, i calmed, growing appreciative of this place i call home and the life and mind i possess. in my journey, i even came across an indoor skydiving facility i plan to hit up with some friends. i passed by beautiful possible picnic areas. i've always wanted a spontaneous picnic with my closest friends. also, a few of us have planned to go skydiving for close to two years. speeding past the dark realities and darker ruminations of means to serve the perceived necessary vigilante justice for the wrongs too many are quietly accepting as canon in pursuit of American [nightmares], i found peace. i found inspiration for joy with those i love and cherish. i found beauty in the city many consider devoid of attraction for youthful. i'm respecting my roots - geographic and personal.

i enjoyed that trip through the full diapason of human emotion. windows down, wind rushing in through both the car and my hole-ridden mentality, i received both a rush and an equating with the cooling breeze which quells even the most distempered flame. i only hope i can provide the same tranquilizing effects to a friend - old or not yet met - ever in need as this night did for me. oh, and i also hope i dont get addicted to that. "[one]-twenty on the dash, and constantly mashin; 'why don't we slow down,' they be constantly askin" doesn't appeal to the pigs in any city. i also don't want my tolerance to grow too high. if that escape starts not to work, who knows what evils i might turn to for solace? sex? drugs? crime?! oh noes!!

cats be wildin...
take care.